Alienation

So yes, I'm home.. slightly alienated form my traditional community and wondering where I can go to make this less offensive to the people around me, but for now art and things that are comfortable around me take off the load. Waterpolo will start soon so then I'll have something to direct the occasional frustrations into. Haha this all sound terribly upsetting but really it isn't all that bad! I guess they call it adjusting! It's just a different routine, people around you that expect to know what you are up to and scrutinise your every move and always want to talk, compared to roommates who are around for silent comfort and provinde a moving image from the corner of your eye to let you know you have some common souls around you and that when you all feel like it you can join in with for some interesting conversations or activities, but who can also just let you be, and usually sense that better then, well, your parents.
Also I miss my coffeeshop on the corner of the road, and the weather. F! it's cold!

So I've seen some friends, done some art, left the chaos in my room because I kinda want to empty my life out of there.. there is this one issue I have with my animals.. you know those furry, fluffy, cuddly ones? Well I have quite a big collection and I was waiting for me to grow out of them but I just feel bad sticking them head down into a plastic bag and storing them in our attic, or worse, throwing them out. But I'll get to throwing the rest out.. everything except for my art stuff.. because seriously, what do you really need... and then when I move into the room -that I'm gonna find asap- all I need to bring is that and a really big piece of wallpaper ;)

Today in a spare moment driving home from Eindhoven visiting with friends and after coffee with my grandparents, I realised I could hear myself think... havn't done that in a while.. you know when you just go from one thing into the other for a while and then all of a sudden find there is nothing... very nice. Wanna know what I was thinking about?
Music. (I know, not as intellectual as some of you might think me to be but,)
I just bought one of those things "not apple" that make your radio into your Ipod and I have so much music that comes by though random generation that I kinda missed tha days when you bought a new cd and just played it 100.000 times to hear that one or two songs and learn to appreciate the others. Now there are so many of those "one songs" that you get to listen to that you kinda forget about the rest. So now I'm listening to The Cloud Room, very determined to hear it all, really hear it, text and music... it feels good. an there is more than one song on there.
Have finished some art, had left some sitting since I was home before worlds and decided it was a good idea to take all my art stuff home (never again, it nearly did me in!), and some experimentation with ink on newspaper trying to draw mental disorders...

Opened a new gallery.. still getting used to it, but it has some advantages over the other two so I think I'll pull out of those and stick to this one untill one day I'll make my own and sell art! I'll put this one on my blog as a link soon but for now you can look here: http://ataratis.deviantart.com/

Music: Sunlight Song, The Cloud Room
Quote:"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home." -Bill Cosby

Need to Share

This is only one thing from a list of things that my housemate behind me is reading about
and it is simply infuriating. This book was written before Bush was elected (it is a miracle this can be published in America) and this is only one in a list of many but I just needed to share:
Bush stated in a speech in a childrens hospital: "I am touched by the kids and the nurses and the docs all of whom are working to save lives and will make sure the health care systems are funded." (visiting Egleston Childrens hospital in Atlanta March 2001)
Bush's first budget proposed cutting funds to Childrens Hospitals like Egleston by 15% 03 34million USD and his 2004 budget proposed cutting another 30% (86million) from grants to childrens hospitals.
Another little interesting fact I learned today is that red ants are associated with the Nazis. When they fight with balck ants they capture their eggs so they can hatch them and, as ants recognise the first ants they see upon being born as their "goup", they become their slaves and work for them...
We (my housemate and I) decided that American laws are contradicting (like you didnlt already know): We are here on a scolarship, taking their money, not contributing in any way to their world, not allowed to work off campus (you might as well make use of us while we are here??), holding bck their younger upcoming athletes.
What else? well I thought about it.. now I'm going back to selling my furniture on craigs-list and having some more cookies with my tea... see if the world cares...
how backwards.

Music: The General, Dispatch
Quote: "Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. -H. L. Mencke

Rhine Stones

Exams are over… everybody is packing to leave or has left, houses are getting empty, campus quiet and bars louder.

Today I got treated to something special by our second goalie as a thank you for this year and as a birthday present. So we went to lunch which was really good (we were both rather hungry and seeing as it was mothers and graduation day the traffic and the line at the restaurant gave us enough of a wait to be ready to eat plenty.
Next we drove somewhere in China town, and lo and behold, we got out at a pedicure place. The first pedicure in my life!!! It was really cool.. I’m still looking at my feet and wondering if they belong to me.. dark red nails with white flowers and rhinestones. She does this quite regularly and must have had a good time watching me lean over and looking at all that was going on. Pedicure semi/foot massage… sooo nice! Wonder how long it will last. So that was pretty special. Hung out at her “new” apartment for a while which is pretty darn amazing! It has a view over the beach and you can look slightly into the diamond head crater. I mean I can’t complain, but this was pretty sweet!
Then upon coming home I sat around for a while until Amy and Emily walked in and got inspired by my toes to do their nails. While they were at it Amy gave me a French manicure.. so that was another first. I feel really unlike me right now.. had a little vision of me trying to paint with my nails all pretty or running around a grass garden and losing a rhinestone. It really is not very much my style but it feels very ladylike!

Music: Running, Evermore

Quote:"The journey of a thousand leagues begins from beneath your feet." -Lao-Tzu

Abnormal PSY

Studying about abnormalities. Also learned I'm not allowed to call it that so therefore: eccentric, emotional, odd, dramatic, anxious, fearfull and erratic are words that serve me well at the moment.
Makes me want to draw all those people.. imagine what you could do with a painting! I bet I won't be as into this when I get home and have time, but now that I'm supposed to be studying as I already ran out of time, I really want to see if I can draw people with a disorder. Okay I don't mean to sound degrading or anything, it's just because it interests me and I want to make it more tangible. Afraid to put people in a box though because I've never met two people that were alike and never expect to treat two that are. (running a little ahead of myself here) but hounestly, it works both ways.. yeah you're putting labels on people, but you learn a whole bunch of interesting words to throw at people too....
So will you stop being so histrionic!??!!? Then I can go and do some drawing! uhhh some studying ;)

Music: Airconditioning and Study hall airco buzzing
Quote: "I stay in the present and I focus on what I have to do now." -Tiger Woods (hanging above my computer)

"There’s this path, this door and key"

A present for my friend who is going to Europe so she has a memory of home when she needs it.

I guess this is my first real Hawaii inspired peace of art. It rolled out.. no sketching, no planning, just going with the flow of where it took me. donw at 2:30am (oil pastels)

I feeeeeel good, ta na na na na LOL

Quote: "The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." -Voltaire

Explanations

What to do with 4 extra hours in a day? and two because you are not tired enough to sleep more then 6 hours at night?
Right:

Explanations

The world deals us another blow
when we realize its search
for explanations
Configurations or recepies to the way
life works and love
and imagination
Considerations for those “abnormal” ones
that cannot help their ways are
somewhat deviant
Defiant of those that let their mind
and feet wonder or wander beyond
reality
Finality when the walls they scratch at fall
to let them go to where they are accepted
then firmly resurrected
releasing them
unexplained

Don't worry if it doesn't make any sense to you, it does to me ;) but I think it is pretty obvious. I dunno if it is the amount of time I suddenly have.. if it is because I'm not studying for my exams, or if the poetry slam set me off the other night (which was way cool btw) especially since the company was quite diverse too and there were some artists sitting in the background of the stage painting while the poets slammed...
Yep, life is pretty sweet!

Some art on the way too! :D (product of last night haha, obviously not sleeping and still waking up at 6 in the morning!)

On Art

Set off by a random comment from someone and on looking at an art magazine and then well, just letting go...
Life is pretty wierd at the moment.. I have time, to waste, to hang out with people, to study instead of cram, to go to the beach and to be social and have time on my own as well...
The picture is with kind regards to Britt, who saved my life by bringing some oil pastels on our last plane trip and in the trend of the poetry slam tonight here is the poem that formed in the last couple of days:

A Process

I hide in a world
where flaws are style
and lightfall can be changed

where passion can be felt
through a gently tracing stroke
where reality can be feigned

a room with doors that close
windows that can see
life walking by observed



where you can hear
your thoughts at night
uncompromised and undisturbed

Occasionally I dare
two feet among many
a walk under the sun

where words and deeds
trace back their steps
a journey unbegun

where strangers lure you
into contests, staring down
action or mere thought

then I retreat onto the
coloured canvas where original sin
appraisal bought.

Quote: "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there." -Lewis Carroll
Music: Gavin DeGraw, I don't want to be

F American Waterpolo Politics

I can be short and sweet....
America screwed us over..
I guess Hawai'i is too foreign for them
we are not going to the NCAA's
even though we are 4th in the nation
and the number 5 is going.
Said enough...

So I guess that is it for this semester...