Monday, March 27, 2006

Time Out & Dreams

So, that's it then: I strained a muscle, can barely walk, and definitely not play. Resulted in quite a chaos because our second goalie is injured too. She played surprisingly well though. However, seeing as she was going to try and get a medical redshirt year so she could play again next semester, and is having surgery in two weeks, this might have screwed up her chance for that because she is not allowed to play after the second half of the semester, which started, of course, yesterday. So we're not on speaking terms. Well I'm sorry I can't play, I'd like it to be different too. Tried talking to her but she apparently doesn't want to see me. Suit yourself. Blame it on me if it helps! I'm past caring.

Yesterday evening was quite surprisingly eventfull. Went to spend the evening over at Amy's enlgish teacher from last semester (where her parents are staying right now) At first I could have sworn I knew her, but later had to come to the conclusion that she talks and laughs exaclty like my best friends mom. Must have somthing to do with living in south Africa. (Yes Iris, I mean you mum!) She had the same warm kind of hospitality. Anyone and everyone is welcome. Talked a lot, loved books, loved to travel and had a lot of interesting things to tell. We had a wondefull evening. Also had a wondeffull dinner! mjam!

This morning was early, swimming for an hour and getting treatment for my injury. Now I'm in my room and I'm going to indulge in reading a book all day because I didn't go with the rest to north shore because walking hurts. I wonder what I'll be like when I'm thirty..! But the book should be good.. and maybe I'll take a nap. (it is spring break after all)

Speaking of sleeping: last night I had the strangest dream about trying to take the other way around a block of white rock that I was standing/floating next to. I had a choice of two dark cavelike halls but I reckoned going aorund the left side would be faster as no one else was taking that way. Also I knew it was caused by the Atlantic Ocean so it would lead me further than if I would go the other way around. Wanting to take thr route, I let og of the white stone and realised it was floating away fomr me. The I thought yeah well that makes sense because the world does follow an orbit around the sun, so I shold have guessed it was moving. However, I couldnlt hold it anymore, I moved around the sun slower (also makes sense because I'm smaller then the earth=less momentum) so after a few pointless swimstrokes to see if I could make it and grab onto the white rock. I gave up and saw the world slowly move away. Funny enough I dind't feel panicky about it though.

Music: more rain
Quote: "Injuriae Addis Contumeliam"

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Political Correctness/Stupid Americans

So I fell into ranting to Amy about how this was such a weird system. How can you teach if the words you need to use are taboo?

I was sitting through a cross-cultural psychology lecture and (well you know me, absentmindedly doodling on the side of my page) I don't even remeber what was said exactly, but it came down to the point that one of the students found it derogatory and had the mind to say so. He even went to the lecturer after class to talk to her about it. It was not that big a deal, but then, I'm not American.
For Americans this obviously was a major issue: I regularly sit through my Sexual Psychology class wondering why she keeps turning around and excusing herself for her use of language. Why she says things as she does and that she hopes no one takes offense. Why religion is so carefully avoided or if it has to be mentioned, so lightly covered. Why it, basicallymight be better for them not talk to us, period! as their words might foul our ears.
How do you lecture on cross-cultural psychology if you cannot use the term black, white even..? And how do you discuss a book if the title of the book contains a possibly offensive word? Right, you don't use the book. How do you, in sexual psychology, discuss sex, the past, family roles if you are not to have it sound degrading towards women even if it was, or maybe even men? So no matter how much we could/should learn from it, it's use is prohibited.
Wouldn't it be better to use "those words" and then discuss why they are used? wouldn't that teach us more than making their use taboo? Why can't a teacher give his or her opinion? No one says we have to agree? I mean as long as they say it is their opinion. It is America!! If you don't like it, you can always sue them!

And just to tell me off: We discussed culture shock and I dozed off again thinking if there was something I knew stuff about it was that. Guess again. A symptom of culture shock is: Believing your own culture superior to the one you newly encountered.. and I was like: "well.. it is! isn't it?!"

And on a side note: I bought a ticket for the annual athlete ball... meaning: I decided to give in to dressing up and acting ladylike for an evening. I'm sure there will be stories...

Music: Katie Melua, The Closest thing to Crazy
Quote: Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking. -John Maynard Keynes

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


De kleinste:
In 't groene dal, in 't stille dal,
Waar kleine bloempjes groeien,
Daar ruischt een blanke waterval,
En druppels spatten overal,
Om ieder bloempje te besproeien,
Ook 't kleinste,
Om ieder bloempje te besproeien,
Ook 't kleinste!

En boven op der heuv'len spits,
Waar forsche boomen groeien,
Daar zweept de stormvlaag fel en bits,
Daar treft de rosse bliksem flits.
En splijt, bij daav'rend onweerloeien,
Den grootste,
En splijt bij daav'rend onweerloeien,
Den grootste!

Omhoog, omlaag, op berg en dal,
Ben 'k in de hand des Heeren!
Toch kies ik, als ik kiezen zal,
Mijn stille plek, mijn waterval,
Toch blijf ik steeds, naar mijn begeeren,
De kleinste,
Toch blijf ik steeds, naar mijn begeeren,
De kleinste!

Sorry for those who only speak enlgish, but in the last month or so I kept having songs on my mind which my grandma used to sing for me, and all of a sudden I thought about looking them up on internet as the fact that I could only remeber half of everything was starting to drive me insain. Lo and behold here are all the missing pieces in my mind: Oude Liedjes Pagina

Music: songs
Quote: "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." -Arthur O'Shaughnessy

Monday, March 20, 2006


You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Little Updates

Special day (16th): Happy Birthday Pap! *Hugz*
USC scrimmage: didn't have so much fun in a while! My word are my legs dead.. but I like feeling muscle Ache instead of only my knees...
Dance performance: was planning on going anyway but a guy in my class who was performing in it had some free tickets for the preview! YEAH! (picture on the left). He was pretty good too! It was really nice and relaxing watching dance and listening to music. Very much fun!
Picture: I was in the newspaper and got told so by the girl fromt he Starbucks who recognised me. LOL Funny! (Does that mean I drink too much coffee?)
I'm being productive: Got up at 7 and finished reading Death of a Salesman and borrowed a documentary form the Library I had missed while on the road and needed to catch up and started my reaction essay.. Maybe I can start studying too.. LOL
Bible Study: I led one!! I wasn't sure if it was a good idea at first because there is a difference between sitting in and being an interested listener or saying something meaningfull about it. Come to know me, I don't like to talk in front of people much so: I had them draw how they saw God, what they associated with Him and anything else that they wanted out.. and then explain it to the rest of the group. It was so much fun painting/drawing etc.. and everyone drew so much in their own style! I was absolutely overexcited. Thanks girls! ( I still need ot finish mine because I was distracted by the amount of people working so concentrated.. I just had to watch. (and make a blurry picture.)
Thought: Is religion merely a way to be able to contain the unfathomable? To make tangible what is beyond the human mind? If the Hero Myth is contained in all religions and myths and legends, if it represents a journey inward, then (and I have asked the world in general this before) why do people need to get so hyped up about it?

Quote: Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
Albert Einstein
Music: Norah Jones, Don't Know Why

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

My Shadow

I walk with you,
hand in hand in dreams.
I scream at you
when walking; an apposing fiend.

A knock on my window;
too dark outside to see
When in the morning I do open,
the sun shines light on mystery.

So I can walk with you,
and choose to hold your hand.
Instead of balancing on one
I can now take a two legged stand.

Influenced by reading Jung. I realise that this can be interpreted in many different ways but realy it is about the unconcious and the part of us that we do not see/want to accept. Introspection, dreaming and bla bla bla.. if you're interested go read Jung or ask me for more. :p
Music: OPM, Brighter Side (during my dryland workout today)
Quote: If you look straight into the sun you will not see your shadow, and what you do not know you cannot comprehend. -Me

Sunday, March 12, 2006

UH vs Irvine

So we had another waterpolo game, but let me start at the beginning:
After practice on friday and a terrifical ennoying exam which was absolutely fine on testing me on quotes from textsx from Jung and Freud, Symbols, the Whale Rider and more of that sort, but we only had a 50 minute lecture and it was writing intensive! I think my arm was ready to fall off! So yeah.

Practice was rather crazy and frustrating because Mich doesn't seem to comprehend that I can play for half an hour only because all esle I do is swim and my excersizes. I'd love to go longer but it just doesn't work! (And then practices are slow and take forever and are not benificiary for goalies. He is all offense! though I heard from Amy that he wanted to start practicing defense! Imagine that!)

Friday night we went to a surfjam. Really interesting and very much different from what I expected, but it was nice! Live music, film on surfing (I signed up for free surf lessons and am now hoping that Mich will give that morning practice off :p) Byt he end they were giving away things and Lo and Behold... I won a sweater that fits me perfectly! A black hoody with a cool design in front! YESSS!!!

So saturday morning practice (next frustartion) I didn't find it smart to go swimming myself to death ( I have been doign that allw eek) and didn't want to spend all my knee energy on warming up so I was hanging out (which I never do) untill they would start shooting. As Mich told me off for it I actually let it get to me. Grrr ...Good thing I got over it before the game!

The Game was interesintg too! I decided to go without painkillers because they are making me rather sick lately. I'd rather play though pain then have the pool spin around me :p And I think I'm finally starting to notice the lack of excersize my legs are getting. Not a bad game all in all.. and at least we won (don't ask how though). There was some friends that came that had never seen waterpolo before and they made me and Amy their Hero's! I love how people that don't know how it can be better are so impressed. It makes you realise there are different standards and that maybe we wern't all that bad after all?

So tonight I'm being a stay at home girl. I need an amazing amount of time to myself so I took some.. rather unproducefull as we have a game to watch in the morning and I don't want to end up doing art till 3am... but I sorta want to.-

-Amy came in and brought Alyssa Juliana and Eldon.. we had some chocolate ;) after discussing the world, Amy gave me a massage! Sooo Goooood! Now I'm all rosy and off to bed.. tough luck for you, gotto wait till the next post!

Music:Anouk, Graduated Fool

Quote: The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (and I reckon sport is as much of an art as any)

Art Therapy

I had a little blurt: started with pen so I coud not erase anything and this is what came out.. pretty interesting ne? I stuck it in my journal so that is why it looks a little wierd.. but I sorta like it! And yes, there is always time for art.. thanks for the reminder! ;)

Music: Enigma, Snow of the Sahara
Quote: The position of the artist is humble. He is essentially a channel. -Piet Mondrian

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Did I Mention it was Raining?

So yeah, I think I told my mom yesterday on the phone that the weather was finally clearing up. NOT! I came out of my exam today and was glad I had left my umbrellay in my bag because it was pooring! I took my shoes off (there is no way they are going to stay dry because the pudddles are ankle-deep) and splashed home.

So if rain represents changes, the washing away of the old and the start of new beginnings, I reckon today would be the day. It is almost like a monsoon rain. We even had thunder and lightning!! Everything is humid! My hair is everywhere, my towels don't dry... your regular bad weather!

So if today is a day for new beginnigns I should go fix my life. Everything in it's own time. I started well this morning by finally organising my classes, retuning my overdue books to the library and studying. However I should have started earlier.. I have been slacking. I'm going to fix that! so back into studying mode. We have a game Saturday: so I better get in playing mode too, though my half hour in the goal yesterday sure brightened my day and mood! Also I'm gonna fix what I don't like or what is simply not working.. and I should have done so ages ago.. I'm a procrastinator. I'm going to get better (why wait till new year with resolutions??)

So with all that in mind.. I need to go study. (The only little problem with rain and thunder.. it never ceases to inspire me into doing art... maybe tonight.)

Music: Cars driving through the rain...
Quote: "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -Thomas A. Edison

Sunday, March 05, 2006


So... It all started with having our last practice of the week on friday morning! Yes, we had the evening off AND saturday morning free.. I still think I should be in class right now because all of a sudden it feels like a three day weekend instead of a one and a half! Awesome! But nothing without good reason! After the last road trip we had 6 sick people and a few injured.. go figure.. then on top of that we had Relay for Life (the walking/running aroudn the track to bring in money for the american cancer society... It was actually quite fun, starting at 7 and going till 7. However having gotten up at 5:15 to go to practice and not being able to partake in any of the wake up events (dogeball, basketball or linedanceing) I ended up feeling quite sorry for myself. Earlier I had kept busy making it a mission to make pictures of everyone and everything which was fun, and I got some good ones (I'll show 'em when Britt puts them on Ringo's) but in the end it was till too much walking (aspecially as I was walking on bair feet.. (we were on the track field and it had been raining all day.. everyhting was muddy!) So at 3 I was over it and went home to get some sleep. Only 5 of us stayed the whole night but I'm glad to have gone anyway!

So sleeping from 3:30 till 10... I was in a bit of a slow mood yesterday. However I did manage to get my ass moving and over to Ala Moana (I made myself an appointment with the apples store so I could not change my mind about going) And lo and behold, I organised myself a new iPod!!!
When I came in he started trying al these things and I was like: well I tried that, and that and that.. and he was like; well... looks like you digged a lot deeper than most bother to. (Go Me!) and then he talked into his microphone a little bit.. messed aorund some more, had me take of the cover.. I was like.. well maybe he's going to replace something? but no, he just substituded the whole thing! I get one with no scratches! all new, well functioning battery (mine was slowly dying).. the only price I paid was that I only have a 90 day guarantee instead of till may 5th, when I bought it. Not bad Eh! I'm sooooo excited!

So after that I cycled home. Rain, again.. I could have made it to the basketball game that started at 5 if I had gone straight. But I went home and took a shower. After that we saw Hawaii Losi to Irvine :S really stupid because they were ahead quite far in the beginning! IT was abit of a slow game, but I like wathcing basketball, people really looke like they are flying sometimes -suspended in air-
Then we went to dinner for Kristy's birthday and after that I was basically ready to crash. Which I did. I didnlt even wake up when Amy got up to shower. only half an hour later! Had 5 dreams.. really random about a balck cat, a mouse, getting caught in really hight tidal waves, trying to explin Mich something with help of a picture, drawing in my room and waiting for Iris and babysitting, watching an orchestra play Swan Lake in a classroom and people dancing. I need to go write sytuff down before I forget!

I'll leave you with some pictures form tha last road trip:

We all get a lot fo sleep waiting for flights... and as I don't sleep I'm the ennoying person with the camera. I'll put these on ringo and show them LOL they don't know yet!

And we play a lot of games and iefke is very photogenetic! We're not even playing hearts (mich;s favourite game) and he's still smiling! A real smile! (Just A pointer)

So yeah, I get bored in the car. Seeing as I didnlt have my iPod and couldnlt concentrate on my homework reading or reading in general with 8 girls in a van I started taking pictures!

There is a little video of this somewhere too! I swear, we did not drink or anything. we just had a game and are just passing time! Katy (the one whos hair I braided) has some really cool dancing skills!

We were very welcome at several people's homes: Colleen's place, who was on the team last semester. Really good to see her again! and her parents are really nice people too.. nice and down to earth.. more like my own :p

At Sabrina's house we got the typical amrican treatment! Whoa! so much goodies and smores! I had way to much but it was quite nice. Must say we were all pretty exhausted though and we arrived in our hotel past midnight!

Sunsets were plentifull and this was one of the less nice ones (but I had my camera handy) and Britt and me at the fireplace at Colleens'..

There are way more picture but I'll put those on Ringo's! I can't choose! This one is of me and Britt hanging out at the fire at Colleens house!

Music: Tool, Parabola
Quote: Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination. -Roy M. Goodman (and yest you can explain that in two ways!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Respect for Authority

So after having ranted about my life and waterpolo -guess I needed to get it out of my system-
I'm now sort of social again and realise there is more to the world then ME! (although in the end it is all about ME of course!)

I think it was brought on by my cross-cultural psychology class. No, that is not true, I realised it long ago, but all of a sudden I needed to put words to it. And come to think of it, I think reading a post on Rachels Blog reminded me of it as wel.

So I think it makes a big deal of difference how you were raised, but even if your community has different ideas and values your immediate family can still teach you! Yes I'm talking about Respect. Respect mostly for people around you. I believe there are some people that deserve a certain amount of respect. Yes, you're right, of course, everyone deserves respect, but I'm talking about those that deserve a little more!

I realise America is not the best example in haveing a society that is based on respect for people anymore but still, we are all people. In Enlgish, lacking a formal way to adress professors or the elderly leaves me really uncomfortable at times. "You" simply sounds wrong and they don't like me using professor or Mr, Mrs or Ms. Fine I can deal with that, but then the way people talk about teachers or deal with them leaves me flabbergasted sometimes. The same way it has always shocked me how teenagers can rant and curse at their parents. Sure you can be angry or upset, but there is things you just don't say!

I am for one, really free and open with my grandparents, I find it comfortable to talk to them about just about anything.. When my grandma once proudly showed me an e-mail from one of my cousins I realised they used a formal form in Dutch to adress them and all of a sudden I wondered if they had ever minded me being less formal. They didn't, they didnlt even realise it, but it reminded me that we are not all brought up in the same way. Not adressing people in a certain way doesn't neccesarily mean you have less respect, it might even create a certain amount of distance favourble for professors and the like, but I do think it is a way of showing that you respect people, even if they ask hyou afterwards to leave the foramlities away. I believe older people have earned that respect not only thought living longer and having more experience in life but also for the fact that they are the ones who made life for us possible, for developing what we now have and for making mistakes that we got to learn from. Teachers because they have knowledge and take time and effort to teach us, Grnadparents for the reasons above and because I love them!: "Ode to Grandparents" oh no offence there, Ode to my Parents too! ;)

But back to Authority: I think being in the USA has made me lose a little respect when it comes to authority. I realised this change when I was trying to write a formal letter in Dutch to a professor at the University of Utrecht and wondering if the way I was adressing him was not too formal. I eventually decided that I'd rather be too formal then not at all, but it felt wierd using ways of writing in Dutch that in Enlgish I do not. I do definitely think it depends a lot on who your are talking to and what you are talking about. I remeber flinching at a look from my waterpolo coach when I just joined the National Waterpolo team. Now however, 100 experiences later and three coaches down the line I find that I know more on the subject and have a bigger input and even though I have respect I will stand up for my own more often as well. When it comes to things that I do not know anything about or have no controll over I once again feel like the first day in my goal: "You are ******** here to block shots SO DO IT!" No questions asked, no if's or but's.

Certainly we both learned from that experience because there is such a thing as too much respect but, having come from there I believe people, aspecially in America, have a lot to catch up on. I believe if people had some more respect for starters for elders and also for everyone else around them there would be a lot less crime misunderstanding and other out of controll situations in the world and a lot less suffering.

And so she stated.

Music: Rasmus-Sail Away
Quote: "Respect a man, he will do the more." -James Howell